Basic yet Vital Truths about Love

I really appreciate Christopher Ash's summary of key truths about love, including how love factors into marriage according to God's design.  Ash provides a "big picture" view of how human love makes sense in light of the love of God.

Transgender Controversy

Russell Moore strikes a wise and helpful balance of compassion and truth in his recent post at TGC.

Ronnie Smith Killed in Libya

On Dec. 5, 2013, American teacher Ronnie Smith was shot to death while jogging near his home in Benghazi, Libya.  Smith had been a Chemistry teacher at an international school in Benghazi for the last year and a half.  Prior to that he had served on the ministry staff at Austin Stone Community Church in Texas.

ASCC provides helpful guidance and resources for their congregation, and for the wider public, in the aftermath of this tragedy.  If you want to get a feel for Ronnie's passion for Christ and the gospel, watch his sermon, "The History of Redemption" (see video below), which is made up entirely of memorized Scripture.  He tells the story of the whole Bible, and he tells it well.

Ronnie's widow, Anita Smith, has spoken out in a CBS interview in a most thoughtful, gracious, kind, Christ-honoring way.  Especially noteworthy is her open letter to the Libyan people, along with her specific remarks to the killers of her husband.  See also her remarkable interview with CNN's Anderson Cooper.  Note also this collection of news reports.

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39, ESV).

Jesus said, "In the world you will have tribulation.  But take heart; I have overcome the world" (John 16:33).

Sermon - The History of Redemption from The Austin Stone on Vimeo.
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Internet Porn

Make time to read Russell Moore's recent post on internet pornography and what's really at stake.
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Making Sense of Perfection

A must-see video about life, beauty, disability, love, humility, and so much more.

Being Mr. Right

I've often taught and preached that, more important than finding Mr. Right / Miss Right is BEING the right person.  That is, growing strong in Christ and deep in faith and mature in service to the Lord with his church and in his world.  Rather than pining away waiting, or fretfully hunting for that ideal soul, ask the Lord to help you become the person he wants you to be.

I appreciate Suzanne Gosselin's summary article on "10 Ways To Be Marriable" along these lines.
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Faith Matters

Love cares about faith—1 Thessalonians 3:1-10 makes this point with urgency.  Five times Paul says that one thing weighed most heavily on his heart:  the vitality of their FAITH.  3:2 we sent Timothy … to establish and exhort you in your faith,… 3:5 when I could bear it no longer, I sent to learn about your faith,… 3:6 Timothy has brought us the good news of your faith… 3:7 we have been comforted about you through your faith… 3:10 we pray that we may supply what is lacking in your faith. 

Faith is the heartbeat of Christian life; without faith there is no spiritual pulse (Heb 11:6).  Love compels believers to check one another’s vital signs.  If we love people, we’ll care about their faith (or their lack of it); if we don’t care about their faith, we don’t love them.

Think of some of the good things Paul does not mention five times in this chapter.  He does not say five times that he could no longer bear not knowing about their feelings—were they feeling positive, feeling happy?  He does not say five times how deeply con­cerned he is for their health—was anyone sick or injured?  And he does not say five times how he just had to know about their safety, were they all safe and sound, free from harm?  These good things are overshadowed by what really moves Paul’s heart.  FAITH is what counts (cf. Gal 5:6); Paul loves them, so he simply must know about their faith.

What about us?  Are we content to rub shoulders at church without getting to know about each other’s faith?  It’s nice if we can testify of one ano­ther’s pleasant demeanor or regular attendance or church activities.  But do we see faith?  I don’t mean fuzzy “faith” that’s little more than optimism:  I mean conscious dependence on the mercy, power and shepherding care of Christ.  I mean serious confidence in the Great Hero of the Uni­verse, such that we take bold steps to honor him.  As we watch one another walk this earth, do we see evidence of strong, heart-felt, biblically-informed trust in Christ?  Do we look in the mirror and in the pew and find faces that light up at the wonder of God’s majesty and gift of his grace through Jesus?  What do our conver­sations, spending habits, and scheduling patterns say about our faith in Christ?  Do we know each other well enough to have a sense for these vital signs?  How is your faith today?

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Broken

Cru tells the Great Story--about God and life and love and death and hope.

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Premarital Sex

Kevin DeYoung has drawn attention to Tim and Kathy Keller’s book, The Meaning of Marriage, posting an excerpt about why sex before marriage is both morally wrong and personally harmful (from pp. 225-27):

“The modern sexual revolution finds the idea of abstinence till marriage to be so unrealistic as to be ludicrous. In fact, many people believe it is psychologically unhealthy and harmful. Yet despite the contemporary incredulity, this has been the unquestioned uniform teaching of not only one but all of the Christian churches—Orthodox, Catholic, and Protestant.

The Bible does not counsel sexual abstinence before marriage because it has such a low view of sex but because it has such a lofty one. The Biblical view implies that sex outside of marriage is not just morally wrong but also personally harmful. If sex is designed to be part of making a covenant and experiencing that covenant’s renewal, then we should think of sex as an emotional “commitment apparatus.”

If sex is a method that God invented to do “whole life entrustment” and self-giving, it should not surprise us that sex makes us feel deeply connected to the other person, even when used wrongly. Unless you deliberately disable it, or through practice you numb the original impulse, sex makes you feel personally interwoven and joined to another human being, as you are literally physically joined. In the midst of sexual passion, you naturally want to say extravagant things such as, ‘I’ll always love you.’

Even if you are not legally married, you may find yourself quickly feeling marriage-like ties, feeling that the other person has obligations to you. But that other person has no legal, social, or moral responsibility to even call you back in the morning. This incongruity leads to jealousy and hurt feelings and obsessiveness if two people are having sex but are not married. It makes breaking up vastly harder than it should be. It leads many people to stay trapped in relationships that are not good because of a feeling of having (somehow) connected themselves.

Therefore, if you have sex outside marriage, you will have to steel yourself against sex’s power to soften your heart toward another person and make you more trusting. The problem is that, eventually, sex will lose its covenant-making power for you, even if you one day do get married. Ironically, then, sex outside of marriage eventually works backwards, making you less able to commit and trust another person.”

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Alzheimer's and Divorce

How sad and disturbing to learn that Pat Robertson has spoken out justifying the divorcing one's spouse who is afflicted with Alzheimer's Disease (for video, click here)--after all, he contends, the person isn't "there" any more; Alzheimer's has brought a kind of death.

And what an encouraging and positively biblical example, to the contrary, we see in J. Robertson McQuilkin, who resigned his position as President of Columbia Bible College and Seminary in order to care for his wife, Muriel, who was afflicted with Alzheimer's, for the rest of her days (click here to listen). It is a testimony of devotion, and of fidelity to the vows of marriage before God "until death do us part."

Various Christian leaders have firmly critiqued Pat Robertson's remarks, e.g., Russell Moore (click here), and Justin Taylor (click here).

[ originally posted at www.forthejourney.blogspot.com ]

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Imprecatory Psalms

In Psalm 69:22-28 David cries out to God in a prayer of “imprecation.” That means cursing or condemning: his appeal is that destruction would be brought upon those who are God’s and his enemies. “Let them be blotted out of the book of the living; let them not be enrolled among the righteous” (69:28 ESV).

What do we do with such fierce verses? Are there people who, as enemies of God, should be the target of such prayers today? Here are three key Christian responses to the imprecatory Psalms:

Recognize that you deserve God’s righteous wrath. You and I are only spared justice and welcomed into God’s friendship by sheer mercy. We’ve sinned and snubbed God’s honor—regardless of whether our sins are glaring or more socially acceptable. Take no comfort in the idea that you’re “not that bad.” Fair compensation for our sin would be spiritual and eternal death (Rom 6:23).

Follow the biblical line of thought to that destination where the longing for justice points. That is, listen to your heart as it cries out for enemies of God and of his people to get what they deserve, and then see how he deals with that injustice. How does the Scripture story unfold so as to provide resolution for the guilty sinners? Answer: the cross. We’re “justified” (i.e., declared not guilty) through the death of Christ in our place (e.g., 2 Cor 5:21; Rom 3:24; 5:8). And this justification, this pardon for violations of God’s just and holy standards, is realized in any given person’s life not on the basis of deserving but as a gift, a gift to all who believe in Jesus—who entrust their lives forever into his care.

Then redirect your righteous rage against God’s enemies who insult and abuse and even murder Christians, and release it at the cross. That is, transfer your soul fury into prayer that injustices committed will be dealt with—fully and finally—in the way God has established in his New Covenant, the final chapter in his grand plot of conflict resolution. Refuse to cultivate hatred for enemies, but instead obey Jesus: “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you” (Luke 6:27-28 ESV). In fact, if we harbor hate in our hearts, we’re saying that the cross was not sufficient to satisfy a just God! Don’t go there. Be content with his good plan for meting out justice in this world, and pray for the Lord’s life-changing hand to bring more and more sinners into his justifying grace.

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Reflections on "Crazy Love"

Francis Chan’s recent book, Crazy Love (2008), has been among Amazon.com’s 100 best sellers for the last 255 days—currently it ranks #69, and #1 for books on “Christian Living.” I’d been wanting to read it, and on vacation this summer I had the opportunity to do so.

Just to be clear, in this case “crazy” has entirely positive connotations. Radi­cal devotion to Jesus and detachment from fleeting earthly treasures may look foolish to unbelievers, but Chan helps us see how it’s really any­thing else that’s crazy if you know and love Jesus. In fact, it’s insane to love things and yawn at Almighty God.

The book begins with a few chapters to help readers “see” God—to correct our small, shallow, and desperately inaccurate view of the Lord. Countless problems in countless stagnant, small-minded, conflict-ridden, love-starved churches are rooted in a failure to truly see God: horizontal troubles follow from vertical failings. “The core problem isn’t the fact that we’re lukewarm, halfhearted, or stagnant Christians. The crux of it all is why we are this way, and it is because we have an inaccurate view of God” (22). The theater of nature provides a special stage on which God displays his splendor: the heavens declare the glory of God. Chan goes to great lengths to help us step back and wonder at the awesome reality of the Lord God!

The key contrast in the book is between “lukewarm” and “obsessed” Christians. Lukewarm religious people make God puke—he wants to spit them out (see Rev 3:15-17). Chapter 4 profiles the lukewarm. The message is chilling, and indicting—and I must admit that I feel sin’s pull toward many of the ugly manifestations of the bland, nominal religion Chan attacks. But note, his frontal assault on the American church stems not from meanness but broken-hearted love for the church, the beloved bride of Christ.

Chan contends that “Lukewarm Christian” is an oxymoron—that is, there’s no such thing (83-84). Lukewarm church-goers, like the Laodiceans, aren’t Christians. “We will not see them in heaven” (84). Authentic followers of Jesus are moved, aroused and drawn to live out their faith in zealous (i.e., “hot”) ways. And so, those who profess to be Chrsitians should examine themselves (2 Cor 13:5); don’t assume you’re “good soil” (Mark 4:20) unless you’re fruitful in cherishing and spreading Jesus’ love. “I think most American church­goers are the soil that chokes the seed because of all the thorns” (67).

In bold contrast with the lukewarm, Chan points to the “obsessed” (ch. 8). Genuine believers are not just “nice,” decent, law-abiding folk, friendly and polite. There’s more, so much more, to true faith (130). Like loving enemies, and forgiving those who commit even heinous crimes against us. Christians are risk takers, bold to step out in faith and witness. Chan laments how the American church is so often safety-centered. “We’ve elevated safety to the neglect of whatever God’s best is…” (133), and his best for us is not always earthly comfort.

Authentic Christians are “obsessed with Jesus,” and that means they: give freely, love those who hate them, live lives that connect with the poor, admit their pride, seek to make themselves less known and Christ more known, think about heaven frequently, have a passionate love for God that overshadows every other thing and being, don’t put on an act for others or God, have a 24/7 spiritual life, and take joy in serving people (it isn’t a burden to them). Secular people may call such obsessed Christians “fanatics,” but the radical, unconventional love of Jesus that exudes from them will reach the hearts of many critics. Chapter 9 then gives several mini biographies of Christians, many of them relatively obscure, who’ve lived “obsessed with Jesus” lives (terrific stories!—though I have questions about some of those named).

This is a great book, and I hope you read it! But it does require some discernment—some (shall we say) “unpacking.” I think in particular of how Chan tends to err in the direc­tion of oversimplification. Like the many times readers are exhorted to “surrender totally,” be “obsessed,” give up everything, it’s all or nothing, no half-heartedness, trust God completely, be faithful in every aspect of life, hold nothing back…

Of course, this call to devotion is biblical and right and necessary, and we need to be confronted in our religious play-acting and self-protection. But Chan does not do enough to help us see how all these great biblical ideals are reached—even by the most mature of believers—only progressively and only in part this side of heaven. He does not do enough to help Christian readers process the present and future realities of ongoing sin. This is not to excuse willful sin, but to grapple with the Bible’s pervasive theme that we remain far from perfect all our days, all the way to glory (e.g., Matt 6:12; Phil 3:12; Jas 3:2; 5:16; 1 John 1:8-10). To be sure, Chan admits that Christians do sin and indicates that the aim in this life is move­ment toward Christ and not perfection (87-88). But the fierce “in your face” message of the book—as good and necessary as it is—becomes weakened by the shortage of attention to the way we exper­ience all the great, biblical ideals that are set forth only in part this side of glory.

With that word of clarification, I recommend the book. The strong points far outweigh this weakness. Chan’s word is a breath of fresh air and a kick in the pants all at once. Don’t miss it!

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Identifying that Special Someone

In the last post, I talked about how important it is, when preparing for marriage, to BE the right one rather than just to find the right person. Here, then, is a follow-up question: what should you be looking for in a potential spouse? How do you know that he or she really is “the one”?

Look for someone, and definitely wait for someone, who shares your faith in Jesus Christ (1 Cor 7:39; 2 Cor 6:14). Marriage is hard enough even when you both desire to follow the Lord and obey his Word. Not being on the same page spiritually leads to all kinds of confusion and trouble with: time allocation, spending, values, leisure, parenting…

Look for someone helpful—who’s learned (or is learning) to serve and support and bless others. When you see him with his family, does he help out around the house? Does she expect to be waited upon?

Marry a hard worker. A man who doesn’t provide for his family is out of line (1 Tim 5:8). A godly woman works with eager hands (Prov 31:13).

Look for someone with good friends. Having healthy friendships means a person knows how to give and take, listen and share, offer and receive correction, and be a steady support—good “practice” for marriage.

Marry someone whose character you respect. Attraction is not enough.

Look for humility—someone eager to learn and willing to apologize (Phil 2:3). Watch out for the refrain, “That’s just the way I am.”

Look for someone who has positive relationships with his/her parents.

Marry someone who’s a careful, patient thinker. For example, someone who can see the grain of truth in a viewpoint they reject, or who avoids sweeping generalizations that toss the baby out with the bath water.

Look for a maturing Christian who’s committed to a church body and is actively serving, learning, caring, and spreading Christ’s love.

Don’t marry someone you hope will change later: they won’t change. And marriage will only accentuate what bothered you before the wedding.

Marry a stable person, steady under pressure. Is he all roller coaster, highs and lows? Do you never know what mood she’ll be in? Then slow down—the stability for marriage isn’t there yet.

And by all means, be patient about this decision: better to be single and wish you were married than married and wish you were single.

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BEING the Right Person

In the life-stage of transitioning into adulthood, the relationships we long for are found not so much by looking but by being.

Do you want good friendships? Then make it your aim, first and fore­most, not to search out good friends but BE a good friend. Do you want to meet Mr. or Miss Right? Then make it your aim, first and foremost, not to seek out that special someone but to BE that special someone.

Let me focus on marriage in particular. The mindset of being the man or woman God wants you to be today is a stance of faith. It means trusting the Lord to work on you, help you grow in spiritual depth and personal maturity, and lead you into greater holiness.

You say “holiness” isn’t on your marriage preparation checklist? That’s all the more reason you need to focus on being the right person more than finding your special someone. Ephesians 5:21-33 reveals a breath­taking design for Christian marriage in which husbands and wives die to themselves and live to love one another, and that requires spiritual depth and maturity. It’s a beautiful vision of married life, but that beauty never flowers and its joy is never known by immature, self-seeking spouses.

Being “the right one” is a goal that doesn’t impose a timetable on God. But the “gotta find someone” attitude is time-driven: it doesn’t consider that now may not be best and God may want you to wait. Maybe the Lord has a lot of refining to do in Mr./Miss Right’s life before it’s time for you two to meet—meeting today might be a disaster. Similarly, are you willing to look in the mirror and admit that that God has a lot of work to do?

Just to clarify, I’m not saying you should be utterly passive and never open your eyes to the people around you. My point is simply this: see today as God’s gift in which he aims to refine you and humble you and shape your soul in Christ-loving and Christ-like ways. Don’t assume you’re ready for marriage and it’s God’s job now to bring that special someone along. Assume, instead, that all delays are orchestrated by the Lord for good purposes (Gen 50:20; Rom 8:28), and that at the center of those purposes is sanctification—your growth in godliness. Your marriage will be SO much stronger and more joyful and satisfying if you trust God with time.

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