Gossip involves talking behind someone’s back and saying things you wouldn’t say if he or she were present. Talking about rather than to others is like walking on a frozen pond on a warm day in March--dangerous!
Why do people gossip? Because they--we--desire attention and power. Believers who gossip exhibit spiritual immaturity; it shows we’re not satisfied with acceptance by Christ and not ready to entrust our lives to his strong, loving hands. What’s more, when we willingly listen to gossip, it corrodes our conscience and we take on part of the guilt for spreading hurtful talk.
What does gossip do to the church? Like a carbon monoxide leak, it brings deadly consequences. Listen to Proverbs: A gossip betrays a confidence (11:13; 20:19). Gossip separates close friends (16:28). Gossip fans the flames of a quarrel so they won’t die down (26:20). When we tolerate gossip, we’re giving approval to betrayal within the body. By contrast, love for our neighbors means stopping them mid-sentence to say, "I won’t listen to this, and I believe you should speak directly with the person you’re talking about."
Gossip is poison to community. Post a guard at your mouth (Eph 4:29) to prevent the escape of all unnecessary words about people who aren’t present. The only words to let flow freely are complements. Before saying anything else about anyone, ask yourself if the curious listener needs to know what you know. When in doubt, be quiet.
If you have things you truly need to say that concern others (e.g., words of warning, correction, rebuke), deliver them directly to the people involved (Matt 18:15) and not to others--not even to close friends or your spouse. Avoid inflammatory words and exaggeration. And remember to speak the truth in love (Eph 4:15).
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